One of THOSE Days

3/07

Ever have one of THOSE days? The kind that make you wish you had never gotten out of bed? Well this was one of those days for me!

First let me explain to those that are not from my corner of the world.We have a law that requires us to have our vehicles inspected for safety and emissions yearly.When this is done you receive a sticker on your windshield that signifies that you have paid your $21 to the state and are a law abiding, responsible driver. This is usually not a big deal, unless of course your vehicle does not pass. Well, my vehicle was due to be inspected last November. Well, mine was never done because I have had that annoying little "check engine" light taunting me for more months than I care to add up and which would cause my vehicle to fail. Mind you, I also have a husband who, in addition to being a firefighter, is also a mechanic. Said husband has known about said taunting light for as many said months. Of course he just couldn't manage to "find the time" to fix whatever was tripping the evil little light.Need I express my opinion on that excuse? I think not.Finally, the night before the day that turned into one of THOSE days, he actually got around to fixing the problem so we could get the damn sticker and rejoin the world of law abiding citizens. Keeping all of this in mind,I will get on with my whining, I mean bitching (doh!), I mean story.

On the day in question, my son had a doctor appointment. At least THAT went off without a hitch. It was on the trip back to return him to school that it all went downhill. I was rushing, but not speeding mind you, to get him back to school before his lunch period. Ok so I didn't feel like making him lunch, sue me. It was pouring rain out and tons of traffic, but I figured if I kept trucking along at the pace I was on we had a good chance of me getting out of making lunch, I mean getting him back on time so he wouldn't miss any more school than necessary(Yeah yeah I know, there goes my Mom of the Year Award). As I was driving along, minding my own business I happened to see red flashing lights approaching in my rear view mirror. Thinking I would yield the right of way to an emergency vehicle,as any law abiding, responsible driver would, I pulled over. Unfortunately the blurry red lights, as seen through my back window, pulled up behind me. My son, who was in a video game trance looked up from his mini entertainment center and realized we were stopped but not anywhere near his school. Before he could voice his question, one of NY's finest sauntered up to my door. As I rolled down my window I assembled what I hope was my best Scarlett O'Hara smile (and even threw in a couple of eyelash flutters) and greeted the officer pleasantly. "Do you know why I pulled you over maam?" HA! Like I was going to fall for THAT trap! "Why,no,officer. I'm sure I have no idea"(flutter flutter, smile). "I will need your lisence and registration maam". "Yes sir, of course".I handed the documents and my ID to the stone faced officer. "Maam, I pulled you over because your vehicle inspection is past due." "Oh my! Fiddle-dee-dee! I just never pay attention to those things! I will have to get that taken care of immediately"(flutter), in my best southern belle-from-NY-I'm-just-a-sweet-lady-who-has-no-head-for-automotive-concerns voice. Shameful, I know, but hey, who wants to blow a hundred dollars on a stupid ticket? If I was wearing a skirt I might've shown a little leg! Unfortunately, my feminine wiles were getting me no where. Super trooper informed me he would be running my ID and writing me a ticket and to stay put until he returned shortly and he went back to his cruiser.By now I had almost forgotten my son in the back seat until he hissed "MOM!!! YOU LIED! YOU KNEW YOUR INSPECTION STICKER WAS OVER DUE!" After quickly shhhhhh'ing him, as the officer wasn't quite in his car yet, I tried to explain that trying to get out of a ticket is not lying exactly...but he wasn't buying it(if there was any doubt about me not receiving the Mother of the Year Award, I think I cinched it here). I finally admitted that I had told a little white lie and yes it was wrong but let mommy do the talking when the officer comes back. He slumped back in his seat and we waited in silence. And waited. And waited. The trooper was taking so long that I was starting to sweat a little. Was there a problem with my license? Did I forget to pay a fine once? Of course I kept these thoughts to myself, but as if he was reading my mind, my son asked"Mom? Are you gonna go to jail?" I assured him that no, this was just a ticket, not the kind of thing you go to jail for, and he settled back in his seat and we continued our waiting. And waited. And waited some more. Not only was there no hope of getting my child back to school in time for lunch, but he might be missing his lunch period altogether and I would be making his lunch after all. "Mom? What is taking him so long?" he asked a little worriedly. I told him that as part of his job he had to check my ID and print out the ticket. "Why does he have to check your ID Mom?" I explained about warrants and the such. "Are you wanted by the law mom?" Jeesh, who knew one white lie would shatter my son's perception of me? I assured him that I was not some hardened criminal on the run with anything any more threatening than a couple of soccer balls in the trunk. Just then another police cruiser pulled up beside Barney Fife's and they were chatting. From the back seat, "OM MY GAWD MOM!!! HE CALLED FOR BACK UP!!!!!" I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry by then. I let my head fall on the steering wheel and remained there until I heard a tapping on my window. "Maam? Are you alright?" By now I know I'm getting the damn ticket and have dropped any semblence of the distressed little lady act and answered that I thought it was a good idea to take a nap while my tax dollars paid for his over time while he was taking his sweet old time writing the ticket. Unlike my feminine wiles, my sarcasm made a blip on his radar. He scowled at me until I muttered an apology. He handed me my ticket and we were finally on our way.

I was finally able to make it home, feed my child and take him back to school. Of course when we arrived at the office where I was to sign him back in, one of my son's teachers happened to walk by and wave hello to us. Of course, this being one of THOSE days, my son belts out "MY MOM GOT PULLED OVER AND SHE LIED TO AN OFFICER BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT A TICKET AND SHE ALMOST GOT ARRESTED AND HE CALLED FOR BACK UP AND EVERYTHING!"

Why is it when you want the earth to open up and swallow you, that never ever happens?